


There are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice.

by Slayer87



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: 8x02, F/M, He thinks a lot, jaimie thinks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 16:33:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18595180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slayer87/pseuds/Slayer87
Summary: He made him realize there was something he could give to Brienne, something that she wanted her entire life.





	There are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice.

**Author's Note:**

> Jaime was talking in my head the past 48-hours, I had to write something.  
> Just a re-telling of the 8x02 episode, Jaime POV.  
> All errors are entirely my fault.  
> Let's hope they do survive!

**There are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice.**

 

_There are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice.  
F. Scott Fitzgerald_

 

Winterfell.

  
Like years ago, but totally different at the same time. Well, he was a different man. Yet, looking around the castle he could almost see his younger self, just a shadow of the man he was going to become.

  
Turning around, he saw Brandon Stark, and the weight of his faults was heavier than ever on his shoulder. He had done that. Crippled a child. One thing is facing his fears and his mistakes in his head – he had time to think during his way from King’s Landing – another thing is having perhaps your biggest mistake watching you from a wheelchair.

  
He did expect the trial. He did expect all the question about loyalty.  
Seven Gods, he also expected that someone would have vouched for him. Tyrion, most likely.  
He surely did not expect to hear Lady Brienne of Tarth speaking about him as a man of honour, and hearing her saying she would have fought with him made things to his heart… things that did not have happened to him since long ago.  
  
Things that he thought only his sister could make him feel.  
  
The rest of the trial was a blur, his mind focused on only one thing. But before her, he had something to do. Something he should have done many years ago.  
It was time to apologize to Brandon Stark. Yet saying “I’m sorry” seemed so little against his mistake. The young Stark – now something different, to say his words – made him think, nevertheless.  
  
How a single gesture, so carefree in that moment, could impact so many lives and change so many people in different ways.  
  
Without that, he would never lose his hand.  
Without that he would never open that cage where he put honour, values and justice a long time ago.  
Without that, he would never meet Brienne.  
  
So, as in that moment, he regretted doing that to the child, he was also grateful. He had re-discovered himself, and yes he had done part of the job, but mostly it was Brienne he had to thank.  
  
They saved each other lives multiple times, but she saved his soul.  
  
So, when he was speaking with Tyrion, and his gaze wandered, he felt the moment that his eyes caught her figure. It was nice to see her so respected, so full of confidence in herself, in her element.  
  
He asked himself if others could see the way he behaved around her. Maybe his little brother would figure out. He already saw him in love.  
Seven Gods, he was a mess. He was a full man, winner of countless battles and he was one of the best fighters of Westeros, yet around her, his voice came always so soft, as even with sounds he wanted to caress her.  
  
Their eyes locked and the world disappeared.  
She was gone and he was forced to confront his feelings, once again.  
  
Imminent death tends to make that effect upon men. Everyone deals with that in different ways. In the past, he had some regrets, most the fact that his children could never know him as their father. Before the Battle of Winterfell, he has some hopes, and he knows that those are far more dangerous than the former.  
He knew he was only tolerated in the castle, and he made his best to be as quiet as he could be.

The plan for the battle was simple, considering the numbers of people involved.  
Yet, he stayed silent, he was not in command and they were fighting an unusual enemy. If the dead were regular people, he would tell Stark and the others that resist a siege is always the hard side of the battle. And with an army that big, they could split in two, one part going to King’s Landing, the other just waiting for them to starve.  
Perhaps the dead were more straightforward and less strategist. That could be an advantage to use. His knowledge of the enemy was limited, so making a lot of assumptions with little information it did not make sense.

  
There were more pressing issues to think about, like that man who was trying so hard to be noticed by Brienne. Not that she was reciprocating. And from a certain perspective, it was nice to see her admired once, even if the results were almost funny if he had not a personal stake in it.

After plans, that was the part he hated most about the battle.

The wait.

Once on the battlefield, he could fight and do something, but that slow hours before the battle, when the time started to encompass everything and everyone… that was a kind of torture for him.

  
Still, he could pass some more hours with his brother. That was a gift to cherish.

  
The mention of his father made him think: it would be hilarious to explain to the leader of the Lannister house why his two sons were about to fight for Winterfell, he would be even more hilarious telling him he was in love with Lady Brienne of Tarth.

  
Speaking of her, he jumped out of his chair the moment she entered the room, and that time his brother had to pick up something.

  
He convinced her to stay with them for a bit. Or at least, he liked to think it was partially his merit. Moments later, Ser Davos and the wildling appeared. The story he told about his name, Giantbane, was one for the ages.

  
Jaime could tell that he was trying so hard to impress Brienne, which was watching the display with a mixture of disgust and incredulity. He relaxed muscle he did even not know they could become so tense. Yes, he was sure that Tormund was not a competitor, but better be safe than sorry.

  
Yet, probably he would have to thank the man for the rest of his life. He made him realize there was something he could give to Brienne, something that she wanted her entire life. Not a selfless act – he was not a hero, and he was still a Lannister, selfless was not probably in his soul – but something special for her.

  
He could knight her, giving her a well-deserved title. So he called for her. He nodded at her. Finally, she kneeled in front of him. She looked at him, and again the world faded. He said those words, trying to fill them with all the pride, the respect and the love he felt for her.

  
Their eyes stayed locked for the entire time, and he could swear she could hear his heart beating as fast as it was humanly possible. She was not ready yet to hear him say “I love you”, but he did not have to say it. Looking at each other, their souls were bare and naked, and he knew that she knew too.

All the people in the room were clapping, and that broke the moment.

The battle was coming, and whatever the result would be, they had at least that. It was not perfect, but it was enough.  
And if indeed they both would survive… well, that was the beginning of another story.

The End?


End file.
